Like I said in the previous post, we all have a pattern which we follow subconsciously. Some of them make us happy, but most of us are struggling with the wrong ones. Luckily, there are simple steps to break the pattern. All you need is the willingness to follow.
The very first step to break the pattern is to recognize one! It’s that obvious. I know. But the issue is how do you do that? I mean I don’t even know if I have a pattern. Isn’t it a subconscious thing? Hold on. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you are thinking why me always? Or why am I always stuck in this situation? Or simply being late every single time. Yes. These are the indicators of your patterns. It’s that simple. Some situation you find yourself repeatedly in. Recognize them.
The second step is to do some soul searching – well not in the literal sense. But just remember why were you late last time? What was in your mind that you were thinking? Or what did you do that made you end up in that situation again? Just go back in rewind – the exact things you did. Every time. think over it. If it’s easy for you, I suggest taking a pen and paper and write them down. Each damn action that you did when you have been in situations like these. Remember this is very critical. And It is not that easy to notice since we are full of biases. But try. Also, try to make sense why we did what we did. This is the crux of this step. To know where our thoughts and actions are rooted in.
To give you some examples, it can be simple things from the past. Like, we think our parents didn’t care enough for us. Or while growing up, something happened which makes us behave this way. More often than not, the roots are always things that have happened in our childhood. Try to figure that out.
The third step is to be willing to break the pattern. This is very important. If you are not ready for it yet, nothing you do will have any effect and you end up in one of those situations where you will be like – I am destined to be doomed. Nothing I do works. Let me just go back to pitying myself. So, having that intent is super important. Let’s just sit down for a min. Leave everything out. Just think of all the reasons you want to do it – You want to be happy, you want to be free, you want to be able to have that amazing relationship – it can be anything.
The fourth step is linked with the soul-searching we in step two. Once, we have found out the reason why we keep repeating the pattern and now that we have the intent to break them, we must be aware of the situation when it presents itself again. In your mind, recognize that it is happening again. I am at that point where I always behave this way. Just know its time for step five.
The fifth step is making a different choice now. One different than what we always choose. Agreed, this is scary, we aren’t sure if it is a good decision or no. Agreed, we are more comfortable in choosing what we always did, and you might have the temptation of going back to what you always did. But wait. This is where you require your strong intent. Stop and do something different this time. Like it is said – you must do something different to get different results. Remember, we are doing this so that we are not stuck in the same situation again. Don’t give up. Hang on. You are almost there.
And finally, having done things differently, you broke the pattern. Rejoice. You will be able to see the difference. You will be happier – experiencing something new which you haven’t done before. And the best part – You have not stuck in that situation again. Voila!
- Recognize – Again? or why me?
- Soul Searching – Go rewind
- Intent – Hell, yes, I want to do this!
- Be Aware – Oh, that’s happening again.
- Consciously not taking the same step – Choosing to do something else
- Break that pattern – Woohoo!! You just did it!
Well, even though I agree, it’s easy to write than actually do it. But trust me – if you can get through this once, it will become easier and easier to break other patterns – you will be more confident and start viewing it as your game instead of the tedious holding yourself back thing.
So, guys – Break that pattern and be free! Remember – Nothing changes if nothing changes.